We
first got the idea of returning to Happy Dog when we heard that DJ Kishka was
going to be playing there. For those of
you who aren’t familiar with the Kishka, you really should find an opportunity
to check him out. His love of polka is
borderline troubling, but his enthusiasm is infectious. Even those who swear they can’t stand the
genre find themselves happily swept away on a current of accordion and frenzied
shrieks. Often featured at local events
and festivals, DJ Kishka also appears at Happy Dog on a fairly regular
basis. For just a taste of what he has
to offer, take a look at his YouTube video below.
Unfortunately,
our evening with DJ Kishka was not meant to be.
We really wanted my parents to try Happy Dog (we had been talking to
them about it for ages), but decided that such a night would be too
crowded. When DJ Kishka is in the house,
the place is totally packed. You would
be lucky to find a single seat at the bar unless you arrived pretty early. Next time, Kishka!
Happy
Dog can actually be pretty crowded any evening of the week. On several occasions, we have been there on a
weeknight and still had some difficulty locating seats. Bands play often, and the restaurant even
hosts a few other events, including a college lecture series and competitive pin
ball league. So not knowing what to
expect, we arrived fairly early (around sixish). This was convenient for those getting off work,
and also guaranteed us easy seating.
As
we were hoping, there was plenty of space, but that’s not to say there wasn’t a
fair number of customers already there.
Our waitress was attentive, and took drink orders right away. Happy Dog’s happy hour lasts from four to
seven on weekdays, and most domestics are only two bucks. As such, much of our party began with a round
of Yuenglings. For those of you who
don’t wish to visit during happy hour, or don’t want to be limited to domestics,
Happy Dog also has a full bar, as well as an extensive beers list.
Ordering
at Happy Dog can be a somewhat odd experience if you’ve never been there
before. If not, don’t worry. Your server will be sure to ask you’re a
Happy Dog virgin, and lay out the process for you if need be. But just to be safe, we’ll walk through it
here. In the middle of every table is a
pad of papers that will take you back to your SATs. This is Happy Dog’s “menu,” and it’s what you
use to place your order rather than speaking it to a server. Each of Happy Dog’s offerings is listed,
along with a bubble for you to fill in to select that item (pencils are
provided).
First,
you choose your dog. This is the only
“entrée” you can get at Happy Dog - but fear not, you will not be
disappointed. This is the whole reason
people make the trek here, after all.
You may choose between the regular dog and the veggie dog (both
$5). I would never dream of trying a dog
constructed of vaguely identifiable bits of meat, but my father assured me the
veggie dog is quite good. Now, it’s time
to choose the toppings for your dog.
Happy
Dog has over fifty toppings to choose from.
In theory, you may choose as many you like, but bear in mind that the
rules of physics still apply here. In
addition, the more toppings you choose, the less of each you get - in order to
ensure there’s room. There is a
selection of pre-chosen dogs, if you find the list a bit daunting, but where’s
the fun in that (in fairness, they do sound pretty tasty). The honest truth is that if you want to build
the dog that’s perfect for you, you’re going to have to mix and match over the
course of multiple visits (what a misfortune, right?). Many topping have somewhat ambiguous sounding
names, so don’t be afraid to ask your server for clarification if you need to
(every single time I seem to forget the “alien” relish is just regular relish
dyed a bright color). For each topping
you want, fill out the bubble next to it (same will go for your tots). Pencils are provided. When everyone’s order is ready, your server
will collect your party’s sheets and briskly whisk them off to the kitchen.
Here’s
what I went with. For my meat topping –
the chorizo chili. This one is hard to
beat. I get it on my dog every time I go. I lightened this selection up a bit with blue
cheese coleslaw. It was my first time
ordering this topping, and while it was quite good, I think I would stick with
one of the other “cheeses” in the future.
Both the nacho cheese or cheddar pair very well with the chorizo
chili. I rounded these out with caramelized
onion, a dill pickle spear, and the aforementioned alien relish. I also get the pickle and relish every time I
go. Even though it’s served in the dog,
I like to pull the pickle out and eat it on the side. The relish, well, I just really like relish
(and it is pretty good relish). And you
can never go wrong with onions, am I right?
For
my more “sauce-like” toppings, I opted for the house made ketchup, black
truffle honey mustard, and thai chile and garlic sauce. I vacillate between the house made ketchup
and the chipotle ketchup, but the house made usually wins out. I think its sweetness usually compliments the
other ingredients a bit more nicely.
Neither Mia nor I are fond of the Bloody Mary ketchup, but different
strokes for different folks. In my
opinion, the black truffle honey mustard is the best item on the menu. I always get it for both my dog and my tots,
and I’m not even that big a fan of honey mustard. This was the first time I tried the thai
chili garlic sauce on my dog. I love it,
and it always goes with my tots, but for some reason, I always thought it might
not go well with the dog. I stand
corrected, and will certainly have it among my ragtag band of toppings in the
future.
For
her meat topping, Mia went with the Applewood bacon (like onion, never a bad
option). She complimented this with
Spaghetti O’s and a fried egg. I
typically prefer to save the Spaghetti O’s for my tots, but no judgments here,
because you can’t ever really have too many Spaghetti O’s. The fried egg isn’t really my thing, but I’ve
heard more than one person insist this is what really makes the dog, so if
sounds appealing, go for it. Along with
this, she added cheddar cheese, caramelized onions, siracha, and chipotle
ketchup. All solid choices.
After
you fill out what dog and topping you want, you turn your paper over to order
your tots. Full disclosure: you can also
order fries, but really, who is going to get fries when tots are in the
equation? (both $3). “Toppings” are $1
extra each, but you can choose as many sauces as you like for dipping. As per usual, we had our tots topped with
Spaghetti O’s. Call it our inner school
child. You probably don’t want to choose
more than one topping, as they can tend to make the tots soggy (my family did
go with two toppings on their tots though).
My father also wanted to state, on the record, that any topping destroys
the integrity of the tots. Ever the
Manichaean.
As
I said before, you are welcome to choose as many sauces for dipping as you
like. You are on the honor system here
though, so try not to go overboard. But
in fairness, I’m not the sauce police. Some
people will order every sauce available, which your server will happily
provide. In my opinion, this is a bit
much, so I try to limit myself to a mere eight or nine selections. While initially horrified at seeing me choose
so many, my mother added a few more bubbles to her sheet, after seeing such a
range of choice is acceptable per Happy Dog etiquette.
Everyone
at our table thoroughly enjoyed their dogs (and my parents stated they are sure
to return). But I have some more broad
comments on the Happy Dog experience as well.
I can’t believe I haven’t addressed this yet, but the hot dog itself is
delicious. I suppose this is a dish
that’s rather hard to mess up, but rest assured that no matter what toppings
you choose, the dog will shine through.
For your meat topping, the chorizo chili simply can’t be beat. The sloppy joe is pretty darn good, and the
bacon is, well, bacon, but there’s a reason I go with the chorizo chili every time. And for my money, you gotta go with the black
truffle honey mustard on anything you order here. It can be a bit pungent in a
clear-your-sinuses kind of way, but the favor is unlike anything you’ve ever
tasted before.
With
all that being said, what’s stopping you from getting down to Happy Dog? I don’t care if you’ve never been, or are a
regular customer. This is simply one of
the best meals you can get in Cleveland, and all for less than around ten
bucks. On second thought…I should
probably figure out a time to make it back myself.
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